Busy, busy being creative..!

Wednesday 26 February 2014

Not everyone will want to play with you (Lessons from a puppy)

Taking advantage of the sunshine, this morning the puppy and I headed off to Berrow beach. I needed to get some fresh air and blow away some cobwebs and figured the puppy would relish the opportunity to frolic about on the sand.

Off we went.

It was GLORIOUS there. There was a chilly wind that meant I couldn’t feel my fingers after a while, but I didn’t care as it was lovely to be on the beach and such an expansive beach too.

Puppy enjoying Berrow beach
There were a few other people walking their dogs too, I say walking in the loosest sense, more like the dogs were running around like crazy and the owners (is that the right term?) were meandering along.

It wasn't long before some of these other doggies came our way. Puppy was OVER THE MOON and bounded off to say ‘will you play, will you play, will you play???’ YES, YES, YES replied the other doggies and off they went running around gleefully together and having fun. Until they wore themselves out. Then they’d stop and we would carry on our way.

Until the next doggie we’d meet...

And the next...

You can see how this goes. ;-)

Then puppy bounded up to two small doggies who did not want to play with her. In no uncertain terms they told her to go away. In fact I think they swore at her. Puppy was confused and tried again asking ‘are you sure’?? 'Ohh yes' they replied. 'You’re to full of energy for our liking (that’s what I imagined they were saying by the expression on their faces) 'We don’t do that kind of thing! Leave us alone with your puppy-ness. Being all bouncy an’all.' 

Puppy did not want to give up – I had to step in and encourage her to come with me, saying to her – ‘Come on puppy, you need to learn that not everyone will want to play with you.'

BAM I thought. How true this is.

Interesting, to me was how puppy responded.

She just looked at me as if to say ‘come on there are some more doggy playmates over there – lets go and see them.' So off we went.

This got me thinking.

How much energy do we waste doing just this kind of thing?  

Puppy didn't seem that bothered after a second or two that they didn't want to play and went of in search of someone who did. It didn't stop her. She didn't waste too much energy on it (yes I did have to step in but it didn't dent her enthusiasm for long).

This happens to us. There are people that we won’t connect with, there will be people who don't get you or know where you’re coming from and some, who for whatever reason, don’t like you much (which is very hard to say and accept after being a real people pleaser most of my life.) But you know yourself it’s true. After all, can you honestly really say that you like everybody?? It’s normal. Although not always easy to accept. 

So I guess what I’m trying to say is to focus on those people who do want to play with you and not waste your energy thinking about those who don’t.  It certainly frees up a lot of brain space I can tell you! 

Sand as far as the eye can see


13 comments:

  1. I love this! Such a simple lesson and yet, it's easy to get caught up in overanalyzing the situation instead of just accepting that sometimes it's not you it's them. And I love the role that the puppy plays in this whole thing, I could totally see this playing out as I was reading it lol

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    1. Thank you Patricia. Yes is is very easy to do that. I think puppy will have other things to teach me too!

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  2. Great post, beautifully expressed. Love the way you've taken the learning and carried it over to you and to us. Also love the new header image and the way the top red bar looks SO much more friendly than yesterday. Well done for asking for feedback and taking it so graciously.

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    1. Thank you so much Tilla, really appreciate your comments. A more friendly place was def what I was after. ;-)

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  3. Cutest example ever and so true. Sometimes we're the puppy, but sometimes we're the one that doesn't want to play. We need to remember both sides :)

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    1. Hi Sierra - I like the way you worded that. Yes puppy is mega cute!

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  4. Great post, thanks Morwhenna

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  5. Looooove this post! I used to be a huge people pleaser, and it didn't serve me well, especially in management in my previous business. I love the idea that not everyone wants to play with us. While it makes sense on a rational level, sometimes it's hard to accept on an emotional level. Thanks for this reminder!

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    1. Yes it is def not an easy one to accept Holly, and neither is it easy to step away from being a people pleaser - do you think it gets easier to do that as we get older? so glad that you liked the post and that it acted as a reminder. x

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  6. Such a cute post, and a great lesson to remember. I love Sierra's comment that sometimes we are the puppy and sometimes we are the one that doesn't want to play! So true! :)

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  7. Lovely post. So true this. It's disheartening when other people don't want to play, but I have to accept that's how they feel and I don't know everything that's going on in their life. Equally I'm surprised by how playful some other people are, and then we connect in a way I didn't expect. Keep asking people to play and see what happens, I suppose. x

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  8. oh god YES! I've spent ridiculous amounts of time worrying about others, folks who, for whatever reason, decided they didn't want anything to do with me. It's so unnerving, but this is such a good reminder-- there's no reason why I should spend any time at all on them. They're doing what they want, and I can re-focus my energies where they are wanted and needed.

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