Well timed considering this months topic is 'belief in self'
So where has it come from? And where has my belief in self scurried off too?
The beach maybe - somewhere hot and sunny leaving me behind in the cold and rain?
Thing is I know I'm OK really.
The difference now is that I am much more AWARE that this is happening, what has most lightly caused it and also what I can do about it.
At one time in my life this would have felt like the end of the world! How can I possible go from being as high as a kite (naturally) and brimming with excitement to feeling I'm at the bottom of the ocean?
Now, though I KNOW this is NORMAL for someone (like me) who leans towards the more creative side of life. And can partly be down to the fact I have a constant stream of ideas that I actually wear MYSELF out just thinking about them! On more than one occasion I've actually given myself a headache, and had to go and lie down just talking about all my ideas! *giggle. I do find that amusing!
So what has caused today's slump?
A couple of things.
1. After lots of preparation and learning to use new software, today the doors opened for the next running of the Connect 2 Nature course that is a collaboration with the super lovely Jaimie MacDonald. Ah am so happy (and proud) about this.
We had such a fantastic time last summer and such amazing feedback from those who took part that more often than not I had a tear of joy in my eye whilst running it. So how can I not be excited about that?
Well, I'm nervous of what it will be like this time around. Yes I know this is perfectly *normal* ;-) and in fact healthy. Provided I don't get myself in a tizz about it all (another thing I was good at doing!)
Also that as there is such an amazing array of online courses available now, that no one will join us. However, straight after I get that though I think - Well I know just what a positive impact it had last summer and we'll just make sure we can give just that little bit more and offer something a little bit different and then trust that the right people will join us. (see how I've turned that negative thought around?)
2. Am getting TOO distracted with trying to do TOO many things!
If my head was a plate of food right now it would be a massive pile of spaghetti, with ice cream on the side. oooh and chocolate chips...and....and... you get the idea?
So what can I do about this?
Well first off is that I've accepted (and shared all this, which does feel slightly weird, but something was saying it was the right thing to do) this is how I'm feeling right now.
Then I'm going to be kind to myself. And rather say 'what's the matter with you???'
I'm going to say. 'Slow down and take a rest, you've been trying to do too much and be too much, It's TOTALLY OK to stop. And relax, and drink lots of hot chocolate if that's what you fancy! *yes please*
And this is just what I'm going to do. I know I'll feel different tomorrow (maybe even in an hour!) but right now - I'm going to go and sit quietly in my favourite chair (that used to belong to my Grandpa) and enjoy the pleasure of looking out the window into the darkness whilst sipping a hot chocolate. Ahhh even just the thought of that makes me feel better!
And little did I know that when I posted the below image on my FB page this morning this afternoon I would actually be writing this post!
So I'm taking some action with my current confidence crash emotion (feels kinda grey and heavy in my tummy).
What emotion would help you if you took some action on it?
Ask yourself. Wait. And LISTEN. Don't forget to Listen. Then take action.
Even if you just fancy doing a bit of colouring in. ;-) xx
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| Well as this quote says (which is in my own creative adventurer book) I didn't realise at the time I'd stuck it in a page all about flushing out and refilling - yes this is an old car manual. And rather apt I thought! ;-D |
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