Busy, busy being creative..!

Thursday 27 February 2014

Beware of UFOs (Unfinished Objects)

Last night I went to the Big Mend in Bath to meet Eirlys aka Scrapiana and do some golden mending. I met Eirlys last year online – twitter I think, whilst in the midst of my Love What You Wear project (not buying any new clothes for a year). To be honest I didn’t get any mending done at all as we chatted. It was fabulous to meet her. She's a real buzz of inspiration and ideas.

One thing that Eirlys said jumped out at me while we were talking about all the various projects we either currently have on the go, have started and not finished or are still floating around in our heads. We are very similar!  Eirlys said ‘you know I have sooooo many UFOs!’ UFOs I said? ‘Yes – Unfinished Objects,’ Eirlys replied. Ha I LOVED that!

So this morning I had an idea.

How about we make March our UFO month?

By that I mean – Visualise me as your Captain Kirkina (if you will), guiding and encouraging you to uncharted planets through all those UFOs where all projects have been completed. 

oooh Just IMAGINE what they would look like!! 

Captain Kirkina at the helm, guiding you through UFOs to planets where all projects have been completed. 

OK a side note: if you have A LOT of UFOs floating around then visualise completing just ONE of these – OK. Don’t want you getting in a tizzy thinking you have to work on every single UFO you've ever started in one month. 

Just think how much brain space this will free up once these UFOs are no longer in your atmosphere? Not to mention more space round your home, and the biggest thing of all - that feeling of joyful satisfaction of getting that project, well, finished? Finally.

Do you catch yourself looking at those UFOs and thinking ‘I must finish that someday’ I know I do as I promptly put it back down!! They get in the way. 

Well intrepid space invaders – that Someday is HERE and it's a whole month - March! *Yippee* See even the Klingons are dancing!

oooooh I’m getting EXCITED just thinking about it. 

So if you’d like to be part of this adventure and chart a course to Planet Completeo (Feel free to create your own plant name!!) then join me by signing up below. Starts 01 March.

YES! I want to chart a course to planet Completeo!

* indicates required

To take part you’ll need to be on my playletter list to get the full info and an invite to my Creative Adventurers Playground where all the action will be taking place. We’ll be sharing our UFOs there and acting as accountability space cadets (??!) to help each other along. ;-) This is FREE. No hidden charges. 

Right – I’m going to jump in my rocket ship and go and check out what UFO I’ll be confronting in March.

Warp Speed ahead!

Don’t let those UFOs get ya!

Wednesday 26 February 2014

Not everyone will want to play with you (Lessons from a puppy)

Taking advantage of the sunshine, this morning the puppy and I headed off to Berrow beach. I needed to get some fresh air and blow away some cobwebs and figured the puppy would relish the opportunity to frolic about on the sand.

Off we went.

It was GLORIOUS there. There was a chilly wind that meant I couldn’t feel my fingers after a while, but I didn’t care as it was lovely to be on the beach and such an expansive beach too.

Puppy enjoying Berrow beach
There were a few other people walking their dogs too, I say walking in the loosest sense, more like the dogs were running around like crazy and the owners (is that the right term?) were meandering along.

It wasn't long before some of these other doggies came our way. Puppy was OVER THE MOON and bounded off to say ‘will you play, will you play, will you play???’ YES, YES, YES replied the other doggies and off they went running around gleefully together and having fun. Until they wore themselves out. Then they’d stop and we would carry on our way.

Until the next doggie we’d meet...

And the next...

You can see how this goes. ;-)

Then puppy bounded up to two small doggies who did not want to play with her. In no uncertain terms they told her to go away. In fact I think they swore at her. Puppy was confused and tried again asking ‘are you sure’?? 'Ohh yes' they replied. 'You’re to full of energy for our liking (that’s what I imagined they were saying by the expression on their faces) 'We don’t do that kind of thing! Leave us alone with your puppy-ness. Being all bouncy an’all.' 

Puppy did not want to give up – I had to step in and encourage her to come with me, saying to her – ‘Come on puppy, you need to learn that not everyone will want to play with you.'

BAM I thought. How true this is.

Interesting, to me was how puppy responded.

She just looked at me as if to say ‘come on there are some more doggy playmates over there – lets go and see them.' So off we went.

This got me thinking.

How much energy do we waste doing just this kind of thing?  

Puppy didn't seem that bothered after a second or two that they didn't want to play and went of in search of someone who did. It didn't stop her. She didn't waste too much energy on it (yes I did have to step in but it didn't dent her enthusiasm for long).

This happens to us. There are people that we won’t connect with, there will be people who don't get you or know where you’re coming from and some, who for whatever reason, don’t like you much (which is very hard to say and accept after being a real people pleaser most of my life.) But you know yourself it’s true. After all, can you honestly really say that you like everybody?? It’s normal. Although not always easy to accept. 

So I guess what I’m trying to say is to focus on those people who do want to play with you and not waste your energy thinking about those who don’t.  It certainly frees up a lot of brain space I can tell you! 

Sand as far as the eye can see

Monday 24 February 2014

When is a good day to wear a Tiara?

The Queen Mother wearing a tiara. I really love this photo, she looks very young.
I have a Tiara.

Well, actually it's a plastic one that is stuck onto a cowboy hat I bought many years ago for a fancy dress party. I still have it as I do like a fancy dress party and am also not very good at throwing things away.

This is my tiara! (with additional feathery-ness - is it called Carraboo or something?) 

I came across it a few weeks ago and it got me thinking about the things I’d saved in the past to use on special occasions. Yes I know a cowboy hat with a stuck on tiara isn't quite the real deal – but stick with me here – I’m talking metaphorically.

Truth is, I’d been a collector and a one dayer (as in one day I'll use that or wear that - you know what I mean).
  • I had a stock of art materials – waiting to be used for when I’m a ‘proper’ artist – whatever that means. Lovely pens, pencils, paint and paper never used. Just sitting and waiting. Collecting dust and some of the paint had gone hard so had to be thrown away – only having been partly used. That actually made me feel sadder than had I actually used it all up.
  • A pair of diamond earrings given to me by one of my sisters for my 30th birthday – which I'm sad to admit had only been worn once and had tarnished (I'm 40 this year)
  • Special luxurious underwear which had been bought to wear to a special awards dinner (under a dress!)
  • A feather boa (which I’d been given on my 18th birthday and which had been worn a few times but for the majority of those years has lived in a box. I loved it so much I never wanted it to get damaged.
  • My collection of moomin mugs. Yes I am a moomin fan...
  • Dresses I’d been saving to wear for when the weather was just right. 

Among other things.

Not any more!

A few years ago I asked myself – what am I collecting these things for? What am I waiting for? When am I actually going to ENJOY these things?

I decided.


So that’s what I started doing.
  • I got stuck in to my art box and have great pleasure in opening the pens and pencil boxes and choosing which to use each day
  • I cleaned my diamond earrings and wear them whenever I feel like it
  • The special underwear I’d been saving – I’d err gotten too big for – so I gave that away (charity shops get quite a lot of money for underwire bras) and I bought myself some new sets. Just for me.
  • I've worn my dresses at home – not having plans to go anywhere. I have donned my wellies and taken my dog for a walk. (minus the father boa so far) I've even taken the chickens for a walk whilst wearing a long flowing dress. That was rather amusing. I was standing in the field behind my house in a long dress, bare foot surrounded by chickens (!) when a lady and her daughter appeared, and I thought to myself – am I about to be told off?? But no. They’d seen me with the chickens and wanted to come and say hello. ;-)

All these things are my Tiaras. They make me feel GOOD.

And the great thing about these was that I already had them. All this pleasure right under my nose that I'd not been tapping in to. And the other thing was that these personal tiaras hadn't cost millions (as I'm guess a proper all sparkly real tiara would?) some not very much at all.

I also discovered that these pleasures were great for days when I was feeling below par.  On days like that I’d go all out and wear my red spotted underwear, my diamond earnings, use a moomin mug and possibly even put on my feather boa – just for the fun of it. Just the act of doing those things would bring a smile to my face and help me to look at things from a different perspective. Then things didn't seem so bad. 

You know, this really applies to every single thing you own that is special to you and that only sees the light of day once in a while. It’s not about using these things so you stop appreciating them and seeing the beauty of them, which I know happens if you are on auto pilot. Rather stopping, thinking and asking yourself 'what one special thing am I going to use or wear today?'

So how many Tiaras have you got stashed away? Why not get one out today and use it, wear it and most of all ENJOY IT!

So, when is a good day to wear a Tiara?

The answer?


Thursday 20 February 2014

In search of Catkins

Nope not a child’s literary or tv character (although I did discover there is a catkin fairy), rather those dancing little yellow tails you see on trees around this time of year. I like them. I like the way they stand out against the branches and I like the way they dance in the wind. I also like the colour, a soft creamy yellow. They represent the first signs of spring to me.  

Dancing catkins
Turns out these particular catkins, which are in abundance where I live, are the male flowers of the Hazel tree. A tree which was held with great regard by the Celts. 

Apparently the hazel tree represents wisdom, magic and creativity due to the interesting branch formations. The tree would be used for inspiration for art, poetry as well as for visualisations, as by contemplating the swirls of the branches would lead the watcher into another world.  OOOOOO I thought, this is intriguing and exciting!

So in a flash I thought could these particular trees have been the inspiration behind the Celtic knot work? Quite possibly as the Celtic designs are all based on the complexity and cycles of nature. I am not an expert by any means, but I do rather like the idea of looking at a Hazel tree as my ancestors would have done and seeing the shapes of the knotwork designs within.

Also, I do love how one thing (noticing the Catkins) has led me down this path to other discoveries. It’s really what being a Creative Adventurer is all about.

The Hazel Catkin Fairy even has a song...*lovely* from Cicely Mary Barker's Flower Fairies of the Spring.

The fruit of the Hazel – the hazelnut, is packed full of good stuff, and according to research is actually a great brain food as they have a very high concentration of Vitamin E which studies suggest can aid in improving memory. This is fabulous news as I love eating hazelnuts. Such as Nutella and praline chocolates. *Happy dance*

I also came across this interesting site called The Goddess Tree which has put together lots of different texts and images of the Hazel Tree. I spotted here that the colour associated with this tree is orange. And who’s favourite colour is orange? (me!) So I’ll be adopting this tree as a totem. I have no idea if there are particular Celtic/Druid rituals (I’m sure I’ll learn more), but for me the fact I’ve noticed the catkins, found these interesting synchronises is enough in my book. ;-)   

So next time you are feeling creatively stuck – hunt out a Hazel tree and see what happens...

Or perhaps there is already a tree you've been noticing recently? What could it tell you?

Go and find out...!

Wednesday 19 February 2014

Hi...My name is...

Do you fit your name? Or does your name fit you?

I've been more aware recently of people who've changed their name.

It started last week when I was reading about Gala Darling. On her site there is a short video about her and in it her parents talk about the day she changed her name from Amy Paape to Gala Darling. They said “it was like she became a butterfly.” This fascinated me. How could changing your name make so much difference?

I also rather loved the story Gala told of how the name had come to her in a dream. It never actually occurred to me that Gala Darling wasn't her real name.

Yes of course there are the celebrities who change their names – and after a bit or research quite a few, more than I was expecting. There has also been an increase in name changes in the UK via deed poll with a huge spike in 2011

So this got me thinking.  What impact does your name really have on YOU?? Can it stop you from being who you fully are? (I’m not suggesting you rush out and change your name!) Rather this is something that’s on my mind.

And do you have to grow in to your name? Have you felt like that? I certainly have.

For YEARS I've been known as Mo.

Morwhenna, was too long, too big, too grown up, too difficult to spell and I didn't feel I filled it. (Plus it was usually reserved for when I'd been naughty...)

Me age three, being chased by one of my older sisters. This picture makes me laugh!

When I was growing up I was desperate to be called something else and I would play around with other names. I was Michelle for a while, then Rebecca, but I knew really, deep down that wasn't me.

Plus I am the only one in my family with a Cornish name. I have three older sisters and as we were moving not long after I was born, it was decided I would have a ‘proper Cornish name.’ This used to annoy me! 

Until a few years ago.

Suddenly I stopped being Mo and I was Morwhenna. 

It was quite a change. It didn't happen overnight but rather after a series of events. Depression, separation, pain, healing, a new union. (The healing is on-going)

It suddenly felt it was time to let go of the Mo and step up to being Morwhenna.  And whatever that meant. I didn't quite know.

*phew* it felt like a big step. 

It was also interesting watching other people’s responses.

In the past I would say my name quietly and get embarrassed about it and it being mis-pronounced or mis-spelt.  So would say ‘ ah just call me Mo, that’s easier for you.’

It was more about not making a fuss. Not standing out or appearing awkward.

Once I started using my full name that changed. I started receiving more compliments about my name and there was an interest in the story behind it. It seemed to capture people’s imaginations. Especially when I would say – It’s Cornish and means ‘girl from across the sea’ It also means Mermaid. Yes I'll admit it. I would LOVE to do a photoshoot with me as a Mermaid. Who wouldn't?? *Am thinking Annie Leibovitz Style*

I realised that it had been linked to my belief in self and my own confidence. So it would make sense that as I grew more confident in myself I would want to use my full name.

Now I wouldn't dream of changing my name.

I like it. Plus having the extra 'h' has its bonuses. Websites, twitter etc. So my parents must have been very forward thinking!!

Also it never occurred to me that I could actually change my name.  It’s not actually that difficult. £33 by deed poll I believe. You can even have ‘Danger’ as your middle name – which nearly 200 people can now officially claim! (I rather love that!!)

And as for my surname…well as you can imagine there were plenty of jokes around the playground about that!  Even one rather recently at a hotel I stayed in. On my room it said ‘Moorcock’ heee hee I must admit I did find that rather funny!! Other times it can be a bit annoying! There have been all kinds of variations. ;-D

I still feel like I’m ‘becoming Morwhenna’ as I continue on this exploration and journey, I’m not there just yet.

How about you? Do you feel you've had to grow into your name? Or do you feel somehow it doesn't quite fit?

If you could choose your own name – would you choose something different?  What would that name be? And how would that make you feel or act differently?

Go WILD - Play with this, have fun with it. See it as a game.

Here's a thought - Could this actually be your inner wisdom, your authentic self-wanting to show you how you might enjoy life more fully? Not by actually changing your name, rather changing your approach to things?

How can you take some of those feelings or attributes and apply them to yourself right now? 

Would love to hear - please do share your thoughts below...xx

Monday 17 February 2014

I am an Explorer

And so, are you.

The past few days I’ve been reading about different women through the ages who were explorers and adventurers and I’d been thinking – ah I would LOVE to be an explorer! The excitement, the experiences to be had, the stories to be shared...

This morning, I realised, I'm already an Explorer!

Osa Johnson (1894-1953)
in traditional explorer attire. NOTE: You don't need this to be an explorer!

I’d got it into my head that explorers were people who went off to far flung countries in search of the unknown. They are intrepid, fearless, have a thirst for adventure and are determined. They also looked a certain way and possibly are rather wealthy in order to fund such adventures. (Which Yes, may be true in some cases, but NOT ALL).

Hang on a second I thought...OK I might not have discovered a new island, species of animal or scaled the tallest mountain (yet) but I do have an explorers mind.

An explorers mind?
  • I am curious
  • I have a sense of Adventure
  • I like to know what’s behind ‘that closed door’ in the National Trust Property. (and draws etc...!)
  • I like to find the hidden
  • I relish new experiences
  • I love watching Indian Jones and Jurassic park films (does this count?)
  • When I was growing up I enjoyed reading Nancy Drew ( I still do!)
  • I like to know the story behind things
  • I’m a Sagittarius (Which, if you’re into your star signs is sure enough an Explorer who loves Adventure!)
  • I’ll drive a different route and take a different path just to see what’s down there
  • I am fearless (occasionally)
  • I am determined (most of the time)
Exploring Cranmore Tower after spotting a sign and wanting to find out more! One of my Fav. 'discoveries'
ooooooo I thought. How come I’d not realised this before? It might have had something to do with that false image in my mind I’d created of what a ‘real’ explorer looked like. I’d never questioned it before. Or actually looked at the definition....

This can mean 'new to you' of course. That's actually part of the discovery as your experience of a place will be different to someone else. 

This exploration isn't all about the outside world either. It’s also about exploring inward. Not in a self-obsessed kinda way, rather a way of really knowing who you are. This is also the kind of exploring I’m doing right now too. Yes its scary (will I like what I find?) and it is exciting!

And you don’t actually have to go to the far reaches of the Amazon to do this (although that is a place I would love to see and feel for myself). You can do it here. Where you live. And with yourself.

Exploring new places to have coffee and cake also counts! (of course)
The Angel, in Frome.

The best bit is also the fact that these expeditions don’t even have to be that big. They can be mini, or pocket sized. Everyday can have some kind of exploration to it if we’re mindful about it.

This afternoon I’m going to Salisbury. Each time I've driven there (and this is an annual trip which I've been doing for a good few years now) I've passed a cafe called Mo’s. Today I’ll leaving a bit earlier so I can actually stop and have a coffee (and maybe some cake) there for the first time. 

What exploration can you go on today?

Here’s some ideas:
  • How well do you know the paths and streets where you live?
  • How well do you know yourself? What’s your favourite colour? Your favourite cheese? (I like cheese, my current fav. is Epoisse after having it in Paris last year. We hunted some out on Saturday as a treat. Yum)
  • If you normally have sugar in your tea – what does it taste like without it? (don’t go eugh, with out even trying it!)
  • Try something new to you today.
Every day offers up an opportunity for adventure, you just need to look for it. 


Creative Adventurer & Explorer

Exploring making sound with string at an exhibition in Bristol

Monday 10 February 2014

Isabella Blow – A very exuberant woman

Over the weekend I had the pleasure of visiting the Isabella Blow exhibition, Fashion Galore, at Somerset House, London.

Isabella Blow in glorious red. 1997 Photo Mario Testino.

I’ll be honest. I have only recently discovered who she is.  

Quite a few years ago (I just looked at when and it was in 1999!), whilst on the way back from Paris with a friend of mine, we did actually glimpse Isabella with her husband, Detmar Blow. My friend said – look, look, there’s Isabella Blow and her husband!! At that time, not knowing who she was and what a powerful force she was in the fashion world, I had replied ‘Who’s Isabella Blow?’ looking in her direction. I could see a striking figure ahead of me, exuding a powerful presence. I'd completely forgotten about this until last year.

On my way back from Morocco last November, I happened to be reading an article by Philip Traecy, the Hat Architect, about Isabella. I was fascinated by what I read. I was also saddened to read that Isabella had taken her own life in 2007 at the young age of 48. I wanted to know more about her. I also thought - how could I not have known more about her sooner?!

So I spoke to my friend who I’d been to Paris with all those years ago, and we, along with another friend, met up to go to the exhibition together.

What an inspirational day.

Unfortunately, the NO PHOTOGRAPHY rule meant I couldn’t capture any of the exhibition and the small details that really sang out to me. Not even a sneaky shot as there were guides everywhere with eagle eyes!  I did try, although didn’t relish the thought of being marched out of the exhibition! I made a mental note to myself *buy a spy camera. ..;-D 

So the photos I have shared here have been borrowed from the Somerset House Site. Credited of course. Other than the very last photo. That one I did take. 

So, rather than describe the exhibition I’m going to highlight the parts that sang out and inspired me.

Really loved this quirky display.  Photography: Peter MacDiarmid

Everyone has a different experience, so I’d encourage you to go it if appeals to you. ;-)

These are the things that caught my attention:

  • Loved to write in pink ink with her waterman fountain pen. This reminded me how much I used to love writing in orange ink. Time to get myself an orange pen again!

  • Really wore her clothes. Each item has some wear and tear. Her wardrobe wasn’t filled with museum pieces. She brought each piece alive.

  • Liked wearing odd shoes. This was how she met Andy Warhol in New York. He spotted her odd shoes and invited them to dinner. I love the quirkiness of that story!

  • Championed Britsishness. In the film clips played during the exhibition I noticed that in each one this was something very important to her and that something she was very passionate about. Capturing the Englishness and the fact that great things were happening in London.

  • Wore red lipstick and loved the shade Coromandel by Chanel.

  • Had a real eye for talent. She could see greatness in others and nurtured it. Discovering young talent such as Philip Treacy, Alexander McQueen and Sophie Dahl. She encouraged them and championed them. A true mentor.

  • Stood up for what she believed in.

  • Took risks. Buying the complete collection of Alexander McQueens graduate collection for £5,000. Money she didn’t have. Then paying him £100 a week until the sum was paid in full.

  • Used hats to hide but also to stand out. In one of the films she talks about how wearing a hat ‘can make you appear more beautiful than you are. By lifting you up.’ They were also a ‘shield’ as one might wear armour during a battle.

  • Was a fearless visionary with a big dash of fun

  • Created her own path. Isabella led. Never followed. Like a walking rainbow

  • Was an Extremely Exuberant woman

Just a few of Isabella's amazing hat collection. Photography: Peter MacDiarmid

These of course are my own personal thoughts, and what I learnt from seeing the exhibition. As I said I wasn't really very familiar with her or her work until recently. 

Her zest for life and her colourful exuberance were brought to a close by her own hand, so yes the exhibition was tinged with the scent of sadness. There was obviously great pain behind the colour, and from what I have read, understand that she had been let down by the industry she had loved and supported so passionately. 

There is more to know, and I’ll be reading her biography, written by her husband as soon as I can get a copy from my library.

I felt truly inspired after visiting the exhibition and a boost to my own sense of discovering my own ways of being BOLDER, BRIGHTER and to keep following my own path.  Thank You Isabelle Blow for not being afraid to be you.

The late Alexander McQueen and Isabella Blow in a photo by David LaChapelle
Designs from Alexander McQueen's Autumn/Winter 1996 'Dante' collection - photo by Peter MacDiarmid
I've borrowed the photos from the Somerset House site: seeing that I wasn't permitted to take any of my own ;-)
Well, other than this one.

Isabella Blow 
19 November 1958 – 07 May 2007

The exhibition runs until 02 March 2014

Friday 7 February 2014

Hanging out at the Not Knowing Cafe.

Most of the time I don’t really know what I’m doing.

or so my brain likes to tell me.

or to be more precise I’ll wake up with the thought “What the F**k am I doing!”

This morning was one of those days.

However, this morning I knew it was a trick. A game my mind (that inner critic, the big bully, top dog) likes to play to keep me small. I have just figured this out. Today.

In the past when I’d have this morning thought it would send me into a bit of a downward spiral and an inner argument. I would push it aside and bury that thought deep with in. It never occurred to me to actually question that thought and to poo-poo it! Until today. And now I know EXACTLY what it is.

So rather than agree with it – I say. Nope. You’re wrong. I DO KNOW what I’m doing. Ha  - *I do a somersault and punch my fists in the air* (Slight exaggeration, was more for effect ;-D)

OK Yes, It is TRUE sometimes. Sometimes I actually don’t know! However, I know now that if I’m quiet and *take the time* to listen to my inner wisdom, my inner strength I know really. (this has taken practice as I was always looking outside to be ‘fixed’ in some way or too busy to listen, and if I'm honest a bit scared to listen too).

Then on the flip side of the coin, depending on the situation, not knowing is actually part of the fun (for me) part of the excitement. Especially with some of my projects.or visiting somewhere new. That for me is part of the experience. The discovery. I also ask myself – ‘Who will I meet as a result of this?’ Then I’ll wait and see.

This morning something different also happened.

As part of my year of Exuberance and Abundance (my words of 2014) I have been reading the wonderful book Simple Abundance – by Sarah Ban Breathnach. 

I think I've mentioned this book before, I’ve had it a few years and dipped in and out. This is the first time that I've read each days essay well, daily.

And this morning it made me *extra* smile. (can I say that? Am sure you know what I mean)
This is what it said:

It was like being given permission to not know all the time What a relief!  (even though deep down we kinda do know. You might have to dig a bit!). 

I've also created a mental space for myself. I like to call this space The Not Knowing Cafe. 

In my mind's eye my cafe has a red sign above the door and really comfortable plush dark green velvet seats that you can really sink into.  Not so squidgy that you never want to leave, but somewhere you feel comfortable for a while. It can get quite busy there sometimes, other times it's just me. The staff are ALWAYS smiling and it has a happy and relaxed atmosphere. 

So next time you have an attack of the not knowings - pull up a chair and join yourself in the ‘Not Knowing Cafe.’

What does your Not Knowing Cafe look like? Create your own space and the get a drink and sit and say to yourself. ‘OK I’m kinda stuck. I’m having an attack of the not knowings. What do I do next?  Then go quiet. And take time to listen (that’s the important bit!) It might be something like ‘read that article you’ve been meaning to read, or go for a walk. Then DO THAT THING. 

That will make all the difference.

See you there!

Thursday 6 February 2014

Having a Confidence Crash - and what to do about it

This afternoon I'm having a Confidence Crash. 

Well timed considering this months topic is 'belief in self'

So where has it come from?  And where has my belief in self scurried off too?

The beach maybe - somewhere hot and sunny leaving me behind in the cold and rain? 

Thing is I know I'm OK really. 

The difference now is that I am much more AWARE that this is happening, what has most lightly caused it and also what I can do about it. 

At one time in my life this would have felt like the end of the world! How can I possible go from being as high as a kite (naturally) and brimming with excitement to feeling I'm at the bottom of the ocean?

Now, though I KNOW this is NORMAL for someone (like me) who leans towards the more creative side of life. And can partly be down to the fact I have a constant stream of ideas that I actually wear MYSELF out just thinking about them! On more than one occasion I've actually given myself a headache, and had to go and lie down just talking about all my ideas!  *giggle. I do find that amusing!

So what has caused today's slump? 

A couple of things. 

1. After lots of preparation and learning to use new software, today the doors opened for the next running of the Connect 2 Nature course that is a collaboration with the super lovely Jaimie MacDonald. Ah am so happy (and proud) about this. 

We had such a fantastic time last summer and such amazing feedback from those who took part that more often than not I had a tear of joy in my eye whilst running it. So how can I not be excited about that?

Well, I'm nervous of what it will be like this time around. Yes I know this is perfectly *normal* ;-) and in fact healthy. Provided I don't get myself in a tizz about it all (another thing I was good at doing!)

Also that as there is such an amazing array of online courses available now, that no one will join us. However, straight after I get that though I think - Well I know just what a positive impact it had last summer and we'll just make sure we can give just that little bit more and offer something a little bit different and then trust that the right people will join us. (see how I've turned that negative thought around?) 

2. Am getting TOO distracted with trying to do TOO many things!

If my head was a plate of food right now it would be a massive pile of spaghetti, with ice cream on the side. oooh and chocolate chips...and....and... you get the idea?

So what can I do about this?

Well first off is that I've accepted (and shared all this, which does feel slightly weird, but something was saying it was the right thing to do) this is how I'm feeling right now. 

Then I'm going to be kind to myself. And rather say 'what's the matter with you???' 

I'm going to say. 'Slow down and take a rest, you've been trying to do too much and be too much, It's TOTALLY OK to stop. And relax, and drink lots of hot chocolate if that's what you fancy! *yes please*

And this is just what I'm going to do. I know I'll feel different tomorrow (maybe even in an hour!) but right now - I'm going to go and sit quietly in my favourite chair (that used to belong to my Grandpa) and enjoy the pleasure of looking out the window into the darkness whilst sipping a hot chocolate. Ahhh even just the thought of that makes me feel better!

And little did I know that when I posted the below image on my FB page this morning this afternoon I would actually be writing this post!

So I'm taking some action with my current confidence crash emotion (feels kinda grey and heavy in my tummy). 

What emotion would help you if you took some action on it? 

Ask yourself. Wait. And LISTEN. Don't forget to Listen. Then take action. 

Even if you just fancy doing a bit of colouring in. ;-) xx

Well as this quote says (which is in my own creative adventurer book) I didn't realise at the time I'd stuck it in a page all about flushing out and refilling - yes this is an old car manual. And rather apt I thought! ;-D